A Century of Laughter: 100 Timeless Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Laughter is the best medicine, they say, and what better way to prescribe it than with a collection of jokes? Whether you’re looking to break the ice, lighten the mood, or simply enjoy a good chuckle, these 100 jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. From clever puns to classic one-liners, here’s a compilation that spans the humorous spectrum.

1-10: Quick Wit and Clever Puns

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
3. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
5. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
6. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
7. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
10. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.

11-20: Silly Situations

11. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
12. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
13. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
14. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
15. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
17. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
18. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
19. Why was the stadium so cool? It was filled with fans.
20. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

21-30: Animal Antics

21. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
22. How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it.
23. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
24. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
25. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
26. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
27. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
28. Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
29. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
30. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

31-40: Classic One-Liners

31. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
32. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
33. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
34. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
35. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
36. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
37. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
38. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
39. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
40. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

41-50: Punny Business

41. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
43. Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
44. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
45. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison.
46. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
47. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
48. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
49. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
50. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Microchips.

51-60: Geeky Giggles

51. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because he wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
52. Why was the math book unhappy? Because it had too many problems.
53. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
54. Why was the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it was never right.
55. How does a mathematician plow fields? With a pro-tractor.
56. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
57. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon.
58. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
59. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
60. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

61-70: Family Funnies

61. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
62. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
63. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
64. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
65. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
66. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
67. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
68. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
69. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
70. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

71-80: Work and Office Humor

71. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
72. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
73. Why don’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
74. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
75. Why don’t you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
76. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
77. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
78. What’s a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala.
79. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
80. What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.

81-90: Food for Thought

81. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
82. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
83. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby.
84. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
85. Why don’t you eat clocks? It’s too time-consuming.
86. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
87. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
88. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
89. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
90. Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he’s a fungi.

91-100: Miscellaneous Merriment

91. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? …
92. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
93. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
94. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
95. How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
96. What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops.
97. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quacks.
98. **What did one